(For Leaders, Managers, Students, Teachers, or Anyone Who Suddenly Became Disoriented and a Shut-In)

May I recommend an 8-minute listen?

I just did something liberating.

I unsubscribed from 75% of the email lists I’m now on. Why? I’m burnt out. Burnt out from virtual conference calls. Burnt out from free offerings from talented and well-meaning others. Burnt out from trying to locate the appropriate virtual link at the very last minute before the conference call begins.

One of the tools of the trade when coaching a client to move from A to B is listening for the metaphors they use. Metaphors are like the soft tissue of the inner gears of another’s head--they can help us bypass defenses that are sometimes in the way of change.

In the west, we almost uniformly believe that being self-critical will make us work harder, perform better, and turn us into much-improved people. But what the scientific data show is that judging ourselves harshly and beating up on ourselves actually makes us weaker in the face of failure, more emotionally reactive, and less likely to get the lessons we need to learn from our failures. We increase our levels of stress, anxiety, shame, and depression. These then position us for a second tier of suffering: feeling isolated from others, feeling insecure or inadequate. Never mind the disturbed sleep, poor concentration, and less-than-stellar coping strategies, from binge eating to excessive drinking. Ack.

Aw gosh, the holidays can be emotionally complicated. Not to mention that it’s almost impossible to dodge the holiday soundtrack from elevators to websites to restaurants to the grocery store. It goes without saying it’s all holiday musack all the time at the mall.