(For Leaders, Managers, Students, Teachers, or Anyone Who Suddenly Became Disoriented and a Shut-In)
May I recommend an 8-minute listen?
I just did something liberating.
I unsubscribed from 75% of the email lists I’m now on. Why? I’m burnt out. Burnt out from virtual conference calls. Burnt out from free offerings from talented and well-meaning others. Burnt out from trying to locate the appropriate virtual link at the very last minute before the conference call begins.
One of the tools of the trade when coaching a client to move from A to B is listening for the metaphors they use. Metaphors are like the soft tissue of the inner gears of another’s head--they can help us bypass defenses that are sometimes in the way of change.
What does “luck” have to do with increasing our courage, and in particular, lucky charms? Well, we often think we just get lucky--or we don't. While it is true that some people really do win the lottery--and without question, it's also true that we get born into one set of life circumstances rather than another, it's also true that most days, we're out making our own luck--it doesn't just get showered on us.
The research on love shows that love is indeed fleeting. Its affect lasts mere "micro moments." It's not even unconditional. And, it needs to be uncoupled from the word "romance." These micro moments happen any time we truly connect with someone else, whether it's our boss, a neighbor, the mail carrier, a stranger, or, fill in the blank. My point is, "The Supreme Emotion" is for everyone, it's not exclusive. Which means we can love often.
In the west, we almost uniformly believe that being self-critical will make us work harder, perform better, and turn us into much-improved people. But what the scientific data show is that judging ourselves harshly and beating up on ourselves actually makes us weaker in the face of failure, more emotionally reactive, and less likely to get the lessons we need to learn from our failures. We increase our levels of stress, anxiety, shame, and depression. These then position us for a second tier of suffering: feeling isolated from others, feeling insecure or inadequate. Never mind the disturbed sleep, poor concentration, and less-than-stellar coping strategies, from binge eating to excessive drinking. Ack.
Aw gosh, the holidays can be emotionally complicated. Not to mention that it’s almost impossible to dodge the holiday soundtrack from elevators to websites to restaurants to the grocery store. It goes without saying it’s all holiday musack all the time at the mall.
I know this would never happen to you, but it did to me.
I lost a sweet potato in my own home. I had it, and then, I didn’t. It was orange. It weighed more than a pound. And now it was gone. It didn’t turn up in the likely places, the fridge, the compost, the garbage. The moment I realized it was most definitely MIA, an interesting thing happened.
I know this would never happen to you, but it did to me.
I lost a sweet potato in my own home. I had it, and then, I didn’t. It was orange. It weighed more than a pound. And now it was gone. It didn’t turn up in the likely places, the fridge, the compost, the garbage. The moment I realized it was most definitely MIA, an interesting thing happened.